


the world's gonna bend

by ayasegawoah



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, predebut hyuken wow, stress come on plays in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:50:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayasegawoah/pseuds/ayasegawoah
Summary: Sanghyuk is sitting there, approximately one meter away from him. He’s curled up in a ball, his back touching the wall while his chin rests on his knees. He’s staring at their schedule, more serious than ever, wrinkles on his forehead and his lips forming a thin line, and his ring shines at each new tap of his finger.





	the world's gonna bend

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](http://twitter.com/SpringSky_0524/status/822113244349243392)

Jaehwan is sitting on the floor, chewing on his bottom lip as he rereads for the nth time the words written on the sheet of paper he’s holding; trying to memorize all of the events that will take place in a few days. (The ones that will mark their first activities as a group; as VIXX, Jaehwan remembers, and he feels a hint of mixed excitement and nervousness run through his veins.)

Hakyeon is silently staring at their schedule, probably also trying to memorise it. Wonsik and Hongbin ask him questions and he answers, taking the time to explain this or that, sometimes glancing at the other members when he’s talking about something he deems important.

Taekwoon is the first to stand up, deciding to go back to his little practice room to practice some more. Jaehwan watches him, the way his shoulders tense up at each step, the way he opens the door, his shaky hand fumbling with the handle for a few seconds. He’s stressed—they all are—and Jaehwan swallows a lump down his throat, closes his eyes. He hasn’t _realised_ yet, but he can feel his heart beat a little faster than usual, and he briefly wonders how he will react in a few days, when it will be time to go on stage and officially become Ken, one of VIXX’s main vocals. His heart misses a beat, and Jaehwan decides to focus on something else.

He keeps his eyes closed, listening (trying to listen) to Hakyeon, Hongbin and Wonsik’s low whispers that end in laughter. They’re talking too low, and Jaehwan doesn’t have the strength to concentrate on their voices, so he rests his head against the wall behind him and tries to think about something that isn’t related to his imminent debut.

He doesn’t need to think much: there are fingers tapping on the floor, at his right, and, annoyed, Jaehwan opens his eyes.

Sanghyuk is sitting there, approximately one meter away from him. He’s curled up in a ball, his back touching the wall while his chin rests on his knees. He’s staring at their schedule, more serious than ever, wrinkles on his forehead and his lips forming a thin line, and his ring shines at each new tap of his finger. He seems young, Jaehwan thinks before laughing at himself. He looks his age, neither too old nor too childish, he simply looks too young for everything he went through, and everything that’s _about_ to happen. Jaehwan feels his heart tighten, and he lets out a sigh. Sanghyuk doesn’t hear it, doesn’t pay attention to it—nobody does—and keeps on staring at his sheet of paper, keeps on playing a nervous melody on the floor.

In a few days, Jaehwan will become Ken, and Han Sanghyuk will become Hyuk, the youngest VIXX member, a person with whom Jaehwan will live his dream. In a few days, the world will discover them, and they will have to work to earn its sympathy, they will have to try their best to leave a mark on everyone’s mind. Their debut will mark the end of the doubts, the nights spent crying on not knowing if they’ll ever make it onto a stage; it will be the final act of their lives as trainees. Yet it will also be their first step on the gigantic stairs of this new world, the stairs where the end is so high and bright it’s nearly impossible to _think_ of it, and where countless groups rest, a few steps only from the end, too tired to go on, bitter smiles on their lips as people up there celebrate and cheer for the ones who _made_ it. Will they ever make it, Jaehwan thinks, or will they be found lying on those steps, overworked and bitter. Will hands reach for them and cheer them on when they will climb those stairs, or will they have to look back on this part of history with pained smiles, and the knowledge that they blew the only chance they had.

As if Sanghyuk could hear Jaehwan’s thoughts, the tapping grows faster, loudly hammering on the floor—is Hakyeon too into his conversation with Wonsik and Hongbin to say something? Jaehwan feels his heart pick up the pace of the rhythm created by Sanghyuk’s fingers and makes a face.

He crosses the distance that separates them and puts his hand on Sanghyuk’s, not holding tightly but still trapping it between his palm and the floor of the room. Sanghyuk lifts his head, looking a little disoriented, and Jaehwan bites the inside of his cheeks. He notices dark circles under his eyes, and although every member has his own set of luggages under his eyes, Jaehwan cannot remember ever seeing someone of Sanghyuk’s age who had such bags under their eyes.

 _Young_ , a voice whispers at the back of his mind, and Jaehwan gives a faint smile, trying his best to appear friendly.

‘I’m gonna have trouble learning this,’ he says, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, removing his hand from Sanghyuk’s to point at the schedule.

Sanghyuk blinks, lost, then smiles slightly as he registers Jaehwan’s words, a shy smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

‘I’ll have to hang it on the ceiling,’ Jaehwan continues, pouting, wanting to see the other fully smile, wanting to see him relax, ‘so I can learn it before falling asleep.’

Sanghyuk chuckles at that, eyes crinkling and teeth showing, briefly closing his eyes as he laughs.

‘Won’t the ceiling be too high?’ he asks, tilting his head, faking innocence, ‘you can’t even see me when I’m right in front of you.’

Jaehwan fakes being offended, letting out a gasp, and Sanghyuk chuckles once again, his eyes crinkling. Wonsik and Hongbin laugh at something in the background, and Jaehwan drops the act in favor of leaning closer to the youngest.

‘You know, this reminds me of something that happened to Wonsik a few weeks after he arrived,’ he starts, and he smiles as Sanghyuk raises an eyebrow. He leans against the wall, and rests his feet on the long-forgotten schedule, ‘it was on a cold morning...’

―

Jaehwan opens his eyes, inhaling and counting to five, exhaling and counting once again to five. Screams can be heard from the stage, and Jaehwan’s heart starts racing, pounding against his ribcage. He feels like he’s about to dive into a volcano.

He hears the staff whispering around him but doesn’t understand anything—they all seem so far away, as if Jaehwan was floating on a cloud, as if the whispers were carried by a wind much too strong. _Calm down,_ he tells himself again and again and again, but his body doesn’t want to listen, and Jaehwan feels like he has only a few moments left before his knees buckle under him.

It’s happening. Their debut stage will take place in a few minutes. It’s happening. Jaehwan takes a deep breath, trying to think of something else, but he can’t; can only think of their debut, a few minutes away from them after so many months (years) of hardships. It’s fine, he tells himself, trying to calm down, but Jaehwan has never been a good liar, and he exhales loudly, feeling his body shake.

He glances at the others, looking for something on their faces that could reassure him, that could allow him not to live this moment. Hakyeon—soon N—is talking with a staff member, and however much Jaehwan tries to listen, he doesn’t get a single word of the whole conversation, and he looks away. Wonsik—Ravi—and Hongbin are both practicing the choreography, the former his part and the latter the chorus, and Jaehwan feels stress poking at him—should he repeat one last time? He’s not good at dancing, isn’t there a chance he’ll fail? He turns away from the two before other thoughts can flood his mind. Taekwoon is stiff, staring at a wall like he’s about to duel with it, and at the sudden memory of their practice with their name tags a few nights ago, Jaehwan briefly wonders if he’ll ever be used to calling him Leo. Probably.

A tapping reaches Jaehwan’s ears, only thing discernible from all the chaos that reigns around him, and Jaehwan already knows the source of the noise before even looking at it.  
Sanghyuk is standing there, leaning against a wall, eyes staring at nothing in particular, the hand under his back tapping an unknown rhythm on the wall, the sound of his nails hitting the wall creating a cacophonic symphony. He looks anxious, more anxious than all of them, and Jaehwan wonders if this is how he looks right now; a boy too young with furrowed brows, trembling hands and shaky breathing, looking like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

New cheers come from the stage, and a shiver runs down Jaehwan’s spine—and apparently down Sanghyuk’s, if the way he shakes is anything to go by. Jaehwan nibbles on his bottom lip, feels stress race through him once again, and he opens his mouth. He wants to say something, seeks the right words; the ones that could distract Sanghyuk, distract himself; he wants to murmur ’it’ll be fine’ nonchalantly while smiling, but his throat is dry and he doesn’t remember how to smile, can only inhale and exhale loudly as time passes and their debut approaches. He wants to step forward and tell Sanghyuk a joke, but his feet are glued to the ground and the only words he can remember are ’I’m scared, my god it’s about to happen, is it really worth it’, and Jaehwan shudders, curls his hand into fists to stop them from shaking. His nails dig into the palms of his hands and he embraces the pain, hoping that it will distract him from his fate, but a voice in the back of his head murmurs him that JJ Project will soon be done and that in a few minutes, VIXX will be on this stage.

Bounce’s dance break starts and Jaehwan gasps as he tries to take a breath, feeling his legs about to give out. A hand lightly grabs his shoulder and he startles, turning around and letting out a sigh—Hakyeon.

‘Hey,’ the man says, and his smile may seem feeble, but his eyes are filled with determination and tenderness. ‘Let’s cheer once, for luck.’

His smile seems about to crumble down, but he doesn’t give up, his hand still on Jaehwan’s shoulder, and Jaehwan feels gratitude wash over him. He nods, and, although he’s still weak-kneed, standing doesn’t seem as hard as before.

‘Sanghyuk,’ Hakyeon calls, crossing the few steps separating him from Sanghyuk, his free hand coming to rest on the teenager’s own hand, cutting short the music his fingers were playing on the wall. Sanghyuk raises his head, surprised, disoriented, and Jaehwan notices Hakyeon pressing Sanghyuk’s hand in his. ‘We’re going to cheer.’

Sanghyuk stares at him for a few seconds, lost, then nods. Hakyeon’s smile widens, gaining in strength and tenderness. Sanghyuk lets Hakyeon pull him by the hand, and Jaehwan follows suit, pressing against Wonsik, who has an euphoric and terrified smile plastered on his face. Hongbin is at his side, nervously waggling his arms. He attempts to smile when he locks eyes with Jaehwan, but it ends up looking more like a shocked grimace, his eyes wide like saucers and his lips quivering. Somehow, it amuses Jaehwan, a rush of calm running through his veins at the sight of everyone’s stress and he grimaces back. And this time, Hongbin smiles—and it’s the ghost of a smile, but still a smile. Screams can be heard from the stage. They’re together, they can do it.

Hakyeon and Taekwoon arrive, Taekwoon placing himself next to Hongbin. He slightly ducks his head at Jaehwan, mentally wishing him good luck, and Jaehwan nods back.  
The music stops, people clap and cheer.

Jaehwan feels a presence at his right; small, slim, stressed, and he doesn’t need to look at it to know that it’s Sanghyuk. He casts him a glance, but doesn’t have the time to murmur him anything, because Hakyeon puts his fingers, shaped in a V, in the middle, and everyone follows suit. They squeeze together, and, at the sight of Wonsik’s hand on Hongbin’s waist, Jaehwan decides to imitate him, laying his free hand on the small of Sanghyuk’s back. He turns to him, heart racing, and he smiles, a stiff, ugly smile, but sincere. Sanghyuk doesn’t smile, simply takes a deep breath before looking back at their hands.  
‘Real V,’ Hakyeon starts, and Jaehwan feels a weight against his chest as five voices join Hakyeon’s, and he lightly squeezes Sanghyuk’s waist, ‘V, I, X, X, VIXX!’

They throw their Vs in the air, and Jaehwan feels stress deserting him as he looks at each of his members. Wonsik and Hongbin have overjoyed (but stressed) smiles stretched on their lips, as does Hakyeon, and Taekwoon is gazing at them, eyes warm. Sanghyuk is smiling when he turns to him, a weak, quivering smile, filled with uncertainty, and Jaehwan presses him closer to him. A voice calls them, tells them to get on stage, and Jaehwan smiles back.

People cheer as they introduce themselves and bow, and Jaehwan catches a glimpse of Hongbin smiling as they get into position. Hakyeon quietly fist-bumps Wonsik before kneeling down, and Taekwoon takes a deep breath as he looks down at the stage. Sanghyuk looks back as Wonsik gets into position, locking gaze with Jaehwan, and although there’s a glint of uncertainty in his eyes, they shine with hope. It fills Jaehwan’s heart with strength, and he grins—and as the lights turn off, he manages to catch a glimpse of Sanghyuk returning his smile.  
The music starts, and Jaehwan focuses on the moment. _They can do this._

**Author's Note:**

> \- this turned out. very differently than i expected but o well haha :^)  
> \- i have [twitter](http://twitter.com/pageofhyuk) and [tumblr](http://cheondae.tumblr.com) so hmu if u want


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